Wednesday, June 15, 2011

SMOKE ON THE BAYOU

June 16, 2011
--Unofficial Press Release--

Florida Declares Unity with Arizona

With Arizona wilting under its largest wildfire and Florida choking on Everglades botanical smoke, the two states have declared a union. They both are in trouble, with severe health warnings in each state and no end in sight for relief of present conditions.

Ironically, Governor Scott of Florida declared emergency conditions, which activates the Florida Guard ad National Guard, as well as FEMA and Army Corps. In tapping into so many sources of federal aid, the Governor has opened himself up to charges of hypocrisy. The Governor is known for his voracious anti-government statements while at the same time enriching himself by forming companies to service government requirements.

Residents of Florida must question whether the Governor will be able to continue to criticize the same "thieves" who are currently bailing out his underfunded fire fighting department. Or why he doesn't put his money where his mouth is and privately bankroll firefighters from his own funds. The latter scenario would conform to his purported views of financial responsibility, since no tax money would be involved.

A spokesperson for the Governor remarked, "Fortunately we have the upcoming sentencing of a twelve-year-old for murder one. That ought to take up some headline space and get peoples minds back to the larger threats at hand."

Meanwhile the swamps burn.